Amity

out of this world

Archive for the category “Humor”

MY NOSY NEIGHBOR


 

nosy

theviewspaper.net

I was assured it was going to last a life time.  Regular servicing was all it needed.

Maybe I did. Maybe I did not…It broke down mid year when it was most needed. I lost the manual and I ran out of oil so I made a call to the manufacturer but I got no reply because I dialed the wrong number. How could I have been so silly? No manual, no oil and no number!

I decided to take a trip to their warehouse but I needed the engine to make the trip, my faulty engine. I wished I could get it fix. I remembered my nosy neighbor once said  that the ‘everywhere man’ can fix everything. (My nosy neighbor talks funny but she seemed to be always right).

I have heard so much about the everywhere man but never have I seen him. I would not have recognize him if he stood in front of me. I wondered where the‘everywhere man’ could be.”Finding him could save me travelling above to the manufacturer”, I thought.
***

Five hundred thousand miles away from home. Lost. Tired. Lonely. Broken. Thirsty and dead. Super dead. I laid my head on a solid rock, closed my eyes wished them never to open again. Suddenly, the irregular beat began, so did the pounding. I began to convulse, I hit my head hard on the solid rock but my skull refused to crack open but the engine in my chest vibrated violently that I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. “It was all going to end right here”, I thought to my dying self. I was dead to me. Very dead. “No one is ever going to find me here. No one. What a lonely way to die”, I thought.

Little did I know that my nosy neighbor was spying on me? She saw me sneak out of my house that fateful night. She went in search of the ‘everywhere man’ and She spoke to him on my behalf.

That everywhere man did a good job fixing it. He did unclog my engine and made it as new. He gave me all I needed to service it regularly- the Manufacturer’s manual, number and the engine oil. He did take me home too.  I never knew my nosy neighbor could be that useful to me. Thanks to her nosiness, I got it working again and I got to meet the everywhere man.

 

 

(learning process, bear with me).

cheers!

 

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Ibo boy 

I am in love.

I am in love with an Ibo boy.

An American Ibo boy

Who stays down my street.

Not the boy

but his Americanized- Ibo accent.

No.

His voice.

his  adenoidal voice

with a perfect modulation

sweet music to my ears.

I’ll trade my heart to hear him speak

I give my soul if that is what it take

to have an autograph of his voice on the plate of my heart.

I am in love.

I am in love with an Ibo boy

who does not know it yet

My own American Ibo boy

Who speaks through his nose .

***

(IBO: an ethnic group of southeastern Nigeria

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